“I fingered Tisot yesterday,” Ray’s fuck-you finger poked the air and knifed it a couple of times.
“What! You fucked her?” NJ’s hands clasped his head like he was holding it in place so it won’t fall off.
“Ode. I said I fingered her”
“Wait, you fingered her?”
“That’s what I just said,” Ray’s middle finger stabbed the air again while NJ watched in delight as he imagined what that finger did.
“Men, when did this happen?” NJ asked, wondering how Ray could have had the time to get his hands inside Tisot, especially since they were together for most of last evening. It could be that Ray was lying as he always did when it came to girls but then again, there were a couple of girls in school that Ray’s fingers had really slipped inside and he was always able to prove it by making the guys smell the proof on his fingers. There was Labake who Ray disappeared with during break-time and came back with the story that he not only fingered her but Labake had also allowed him suck her boobs. Of course that was true; everyone in school had sucked Labake’s boobs.
And there was Miss Congeniality whose strutting made Ray swear that he was going to fuck her so hard that she would walk like a cripple when he was done with her. The day he disappeared with her to his usual spot, the uncompleted school building, he told the boys to witness his prowess. Everyone waited at the usual strategic points for him and when he did not come out for 30 minutes, NJ, with the other guys who acted as guards outside the building in case anyone – especially juniors – became Marco Polo on a trip to that part of the school. When he finally came out, they clapped into the air, making Miss Congeniality bow her head as if dropping it to the ground would hide her face and what she had just done with Ray. They wanted to smell Ray’s fingers to know how Miss Congeniality smelt but he would not allow them.
“A gentleman does not kiss and smell,” he told them.
Later on, he told NJ Miss Congeniality did not allow him in and he spent the whole 30 minutes begging her to let him touch something. But by then, the story was already around the school that Miss Congeniality was fuckable and writings appeared on walls like doodles of promising art children to support this: I slept with MC. I write world facts on MC’s ass. God does not like what you did with MC. I love MC. Ever since then, NJ always waited a full day for Ray to recant his story or confirm it before believing it.
“It happened after lesson,” Ray continued.
“Bobo yii, I was with you after lesson,” NJ’s fingers brushed the air dismissively , sweeping Ray’s lies away.
“I swear to God.”
“How did it happen?”
“Remember I went to the toilet right?”
“Yes. . .”
“Men, that bitch was there and one thing led to another so she invited me to her house. . .”
“Ode, who are you lying to? You were at my house yesterday evening.”
“I left your house early yesterday remember? It was after that I went to her house.”
NJ thought about it for a moment. There was the chance that his guy was saying the truth. Ray looked at him and had that look on his face where pity met desperation. He wanted NJ to believe him and NJ wanted to believe him too.
“Ok, if I sha-just-believe you, where is the proof. . ?”
“Omo guy, that girl is sweet. . !” Ray jumped into the air and did a fast jog on the spot like a runner warming up.
“Wait. . .Tisot. . .Tisot?”
At that moment, NJ saw Tisot in his mind and it occurred to him who it was they were talking about. He remembered how she always stood in front of everyone in class to preach about Jesus. Was that not Tisot? Maybe Ray was talking about another girl but if it was the Tisot he was thinking of, she was always walking around the school with her Bible like a math textbook, talking about how Jesus does not want anyone to go to hell and some other mumbo jumbo on how Jesus will come by the end of the year. She was not in-your-face like some of the other preacher-students, but she was surely one of those who made you feel guilty if you did not go for fellowship. Even NJ had been to fellowship because of this girl before, if it was the girl in the long uniform that passed her knees, the one who wore glasses and never wore earrings because they were distractions of this world—the one who once told NJ he was sinning for wearing new shoes to school. It could not be the same girl, he thought, and without a doubt, Ray was the biggest liar, period.
“LIAR! Na me you wan trick abi? You? Fuck Tisot?” NJ pointed at Ray then angled his speared finger somewhere in the air as if Tisot stood there and he was trying to single her out. “You, fuck fellowship girl . . . impossible can never be possible.”
“Finger, men. I fingered her.”
“Even if you touched her ass, I won’t believe it. I swear to God,” NJ touched the sand and raised his finger to the sky to show how much he meant this oath to God. “Ok, tell me how it happened,” he said as he saw Ray’s face did not change its claim.
“Guy, I already told you, I went to the toilet and I saw her there. She told me she had problems with physics and I should come over to her house. I thought she was joking at first but that bitch meant it.”
“LIAR! Fucking does not come just like that. . .”
“I fingered her. . .” Ray protested.
“Men, all that smooching and camasoto did not happen like that. . .”
“God dey o—there is a God.”
“So you fingered her and that was it. . ?”
“Omo men. That girl’s yansh is big o. And you should see her boobs. . .”
“I still don’t believe you but if it’s true you only camasotoed, you are a proper ode. I would have fucked the shit out of her and told everyone. All those Christian girls, freaky as fuck. Haven’t you noticed?”
“Is it me you’re telling?” Ray’s face lost its desperation and had become jovial again. “Look at your neighbour; she’s a pastor’s daughter and that girl dey fire dick anyhow.” He was glad NJ believed him. It was the truth but he couldn’t tell NJ more than that. It had disturbed him all night, tossed him on his bed and just when he would be about to drift into sleep, it would open his eyes and remind him of the others things that happened with Tisot.
It was true that they met at the toilet; she was coming out of the female toilet, while he was going into the male toilet. She had asked that he come to her house to teach her physics. And he really left NJ’s house early to teach her what he knew. As he walked to her house, he wondered why he even said yes to helping her and prayed no one would see him with Tisot— that won’t do well for his reputation. She opened the gate and let him into her house. Her parents were not around and it surprised Ray there was no sign of Jesus in the house like he always imagined. Instead, what he saw was furniture that proved Tisot dressed poorer than her parents’ money. The speakers alone were taller than he was and their television was one of those that you have to order from a catalogue—he was sure of this because he had never seen such televisions at the street market. And the floor of their house was polished marble. He could see his whitened reflection as he stood on it and felt sorry he always looked down on her in school.
“Sit here,” she said and disappeared to bring her textbook.
Ray had wondered what type of trouble he was getting himself into. What if he did not know what she wanted to learn? The last physics test he took, he had failed it. And the only reason he was taking the extra lessons was so that he could make the minimum score required to pass his school classes. . .
Something from a cable TV channel was playing on Tisot’s TV and Ray wished his parents were rich enough to afford cable at home. If God can answer that prayer, then he would be able to keep up with the rest of the world and not have to rely on the local channels that came on at 4 p.m. every day. If Tisot was enjoying all this splendour, and kept quiet about it, then she was a fool. And that was the problem with all those Christian chicks. If he were the one in her shoes, he would be launching shoes everyday and people would know that money, like the Christians said, “answereth all things.” But then, it was Tisot. The boys would hear about Tisot’s wealth, he swore to tell them. Maybe he should become her friend so she would start buying him food in school? He would go the Christian angle, that way she wouldn’t refuse charity—as the Bible commanded.
When she came out with her textbook, Ray was lost in this daydream. And when she opened the textbook, Ray had become totally confused. The equations that starred at him did not make sense at all, he knew they had been taught but could only recall them in foggy outlines where the light of their memory was nothing but a blur in his head.
“Ayanmaaaa. . .” Tisot squeezed her face in disgust and pointed to the television. Ray saw one of the girls in a rapper’s video camasotoing the rapper seriously. Then the lucky bastard held her boobs and continued rapping. Tisot stretched for the remote but Ray moved it away from her. Did she not know that this was one of the reasons he sometimes nursed rap dreams?
“Leave it, I want to see. . .”
“Bring the remote. . .”
“No. Free me, I’m the guest. . .”
“Is this what you guys think about every day? You know it’s not good.”
“How would you know? Have you tried it?”
“Yes,” Tisot said.
That word stilled Ray like he had just been shot. He felt something all over, an awareness that something was wrong. It was a revelation that let him see things for how they really were. The platonic eyes that once beheld Tisot for a church girl saw how tight her shirt hugged her to lift her boobs to view. And the jeans, they made her ass hang in the air. Ray saw the truth and how the lie the world believed was caused by the rectangular flow of Tisot’s school uniform which hid her true beauty from the public.
“You’re lying,” he said at last.
“No. I used to do it with my neighbour before I had Jesus. . .”
“You’re lying,” he said again. “You used to do it? You did it. I mean the main the main,” his hands squeezed to a fist and he rattled himself like a boy would shake a tree branch to make fruit drop from it.
“Yes. . .”
“How did it feel like?”
“I thought you’ve been doing it all this time. . .”
Ray could not tell her. He had never told NJ but all the girls he had fingered, he never fucked them; he just camasoted them. He couldn’t bring himself to fuck them; where would he begin? And besides, none of them would even let him do them. All the ones he ever claimed to fuck, they were lies and the girls were happy to help spread the lies.
He said nothing to Tisot but just moved closer to her, as he had tried with every other girl. His hands touched her laps and the rest was a testimony of how much experience she had. By the time his fingers got into her, Ray thought he was dreaming but there she was, naked in front of him and he knew this was a dream come true. Just wait till the boys heard in school. Another score for the great Ray.
“Oya-come on-put it inside,” she said. He was naked in front of her and could hardly believe she was going to be the first girl, his first girl.
“Oya,” she said again.
But Ray felt strength begin to leave him. He could not do it. He wanted to, but he just couldn’t. What was once iron with the metallic will that today would be his first became a rope that failed him.
The horn of Tisot’s parent’s car sounded at the gate and in a quick frenzy, the clothes were back on their bodies. But Tisot had already noticed. She said nothing. Ray wondered if he had gotten one more minute he might have actually fucked her. One more minute. Another day, perhaps.
NJ would never know this part of the story. Instead Ray told him of how much a slut Tisot was.
“Look who is there,” NJ pointed and in the distance, Ray could recognize the figure that hid inside the beauty-hiding uniform. “You know I can ask her for information about this lie of yours,” NJ continued.
“O boy, don’t do that,” Ray pleaded.
“Say wetin? – What?— You’re scared she will say it did not happen?” NJ asked.
“I’m serious, I fingered her”
“That is why I’m going to confirm. All these Christian girls. . .” NJ said. He strode away from Ray, moving towards Tisot who was walking from class with her friend. If it was true, then these Christian chicks were something else. Tisot would deny it or probably slap him for asking, he knew. It was not worth it. She was a Christian girl and was hardcore and she was not shapely at all. There was no way Ray went for the shapeless thing, NJ concluded. Ray must have been lying. But still, if he was telling the truth. . .
NJ walked past Tisot and turned to Ray whose eyes were fixed on the approaching Tisot. Tisot’s eyes were fixed in front of her and never looked to the side to acknowledge Ray. NJ noticed, made motions in the air as if he was fucking. He laughed as he thought he had made Ray scared by his pretence.
But Tisot saw Ray. It was a brief look she slanted from the corner of her eyes and hoped he did not catch. She had tried to look away from him but had fallen into the temptation of letting her eyes graze over his body, then she said a prayer for falling into temptation. There would be no eye contact with him. She had asked God for forgiveness for yesterday and would fast for seven days to cleanse herself from such unrighteousness. But there was a lesson to be learned.
“You know Ray is gay,” she told her friend.
“How would you know? It is you that will know the teacher’s mother is dead. . .”
“I’m serious. He’s gay.”
“How do you know?”
“The Holy Spirit told me,” she said.